ArchiveOctober 2019

On the other hand, if Chump doesn’t feel like being nice…


… he can start doing Joe Biden jokes. That would be better than straight-out insults: “Joe was really excited to come to the White House the other day. He thought we were having a sleepover.” “Joe’s a big fan of the Bears. That’s because bears are always hibernating.” “Joe was always jealous of Luca Brasi. Because Luca got to sleep with the fishes.” “Did you hear what Joe said when asked if...

The Democrats getting schooled again


Why are we calling it the “Wealth Tax?” Why aren’t we calling it the “Plutocrat Tax?” Or the “Fat Cat Tax?” Or my choice, “The Mr. Burns Tax?” Why do the Republicans always get to set the agenda? One reason is because they employ very good wordsmiths. They’re clever. Democrats don’t seem to value words. For example, Kamala Harris is the only Democrat running...

I got hired by Frank Luntz


The famous Republican Party pollster has his office right here in Bethesda. And he’s hired me to come up with some new Republican Party euphemisms. As Frank explains it: “It’s not what you say.  It’s what they hear.” Here’s what I’ve got so far: racial profiling – melanin data collecting income inequality – wage diversity white nationalism – Caucasian conservation anti-Semitism –...

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